PROJECT MANAGEMENT for KIDS [PM4K]: September 2009

PM4K QUOTES 016: MANAGING PROJECTS WITHOUT A WBS

((QUOTES @ PM4K))

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Running a project without a WBS is like going to a strange land without a roadmap. - J. Phillips

[Mathew@PM4K]

PROJECT MANAGEMENT KNOWLEDGE

((POSTING ON A LIGHTER NOTE))

Question: When do we really know how long it will take to complete the project?
Answer: After we are done!!! ;)
-- http://www.simpleprojectmanagement.com

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K NEWS 022: HOW GOOD ARE OUR PREPARATIONS FOR THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES?

Continuing with the PM4K NEWS Series on the Commonwealth Games Project here’s another update.

First of all, it is difficult for an individual to really find out what the current state of the preparation for the Commonwealth Games is. The current reality is that there is a lot of work needed to be done at various fronts - the Delhi Government has set in process a huge amount of infrastructure improvements to give the city a modern feel and look. This includes improvements to the transport infrastructure (new roads, modification of roads to reduce jams and increase speed of transport, more metro stations), improvements to the existing stadia to make them capable of handling huge international sports (for example, the Indira Gandhi Indoor stadium leaked a couple of years back when there was an international badminton event), provision of adequate power, housing, and water supplies.

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K QUOTES 015: STRONG PROJECT MANAGER

((QUOTES @ PM4K))

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“Everyone asks for a strong project manager - when they get him they want him NO MORE.”

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K NEWS 021: UNIQUE ID FOR COASTAL RESIDENTS

Continuing with the PM4K NEWS Series on the Indian Unique ID Project here’s another update on India’s Unique ID Project.

MANGALORE: The 26/11 terror attacks on Mumbai has expedited the Union government's move to create a National Population Register (NPR) for residents in coastal areas. The attack clearly exposed India's vulnerability along the coast. NPR entails issuing identity (smart) cards to citizens as one of the measures to strengthen security in coastal areas. This NPR project will be implemented in 208 coastal villages in three coastal districts of the state by January 2010.

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K QUOTES 014: MANAGING PROJECTS WITHOUT A GAME PLAN

((QUOTES @ PM4K))

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Trying to manage a project without project management is like trying to play a football game without a game plan. -- K. Tate

[Mathew@PM4K]

PROJECT MANAGER’S PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL

((POSTING ON A LIGHTER NOTE))

Performance Factors	Far Exceeds Requirements	Exceeds Requirements	Meets Requirements	Needs some Improvement	Does not meet Requirements
Quality	Leaps tall buildings with a single bound	Needs a running start to leap tall buildings	Can only leap small buildings	Crashes into buildings	Cannot recognise buildings
Timeliness	Is faster than a bullet	Is as fast as a bullet	Not quite as fast as a bullet	Is as fast as a slow bullet	Wounds self with gun
Initiative	Is stronger than a locomotive	Is stronger than a bull elephant	Is stronger than a bull	Shoots the bull	Smells like a bull
Adaptability	Walks on water consistently	Walks on water in emergencies	Washes with water	Drinks water	Passes water in emergencies
Communication	Talks with God	Talks with Angels	Talks to self	Argues with self	Loses those arguments

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K NEWS 020: COMMONWEALTH GAMES PROJECTS MAY MISS DEADLINES

In the PM4K NEWS Series we would like to start a series on the projects for the upcoming COMMONWEALTH Games being hosted in New Delhi. Unfortunately for India (more so New Delhi), things are not looking promising.

NEW DELHI: In what could bring huge embarrassment to the country, key Commonwealth Games (CWG) projects -- including games venues, infrastructure for conducting the sports and major city upgrade plans -- are running so much behind schedule that there's a real threat of India's showpiece Games turning into a non-event.

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K NEWS 019: NANDAN NILEKANI’S INTERVIEW WITH KARAN THAPAR

Continuing with the PM4K NEWS Series on the Indian Unique ID Project here’s another update on India’s Unique ID Project.

We need one single, non-duplicate way of identifying a person and we need a mechanism by which we can authenticate that online anywhere because that can have huge benefits and impact on public services, says Nandan Nilekani in an interview to Karan Thapar, on CNN-IBN’s Devil's Advocate.

[Mathew@PM4K]

PROJECT MANAGER’S PRAYER

((POSTING ON A LIGHTER NOTE))

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
the courage to change the things I cannot accept,
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had
to kill today because they got on my nerves.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on
today as they may be connected to the feet I may have
to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work....
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Fridays

And help me to remember...
When I'm having a really bad day,
and it seems that people are trying to wind me up,
that it takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and
only 4 to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth!

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K NEWS 018: ANOTHER DELHI METRO TRAIN DERAILS

Continuing with the PM4K NEWS Series on the Delhi Metro Project here’s another update on Delhi’s Metro Project.

NEW DELHI: A coach of the Delhi Metro derailed near the Yamuna Bank station in east Delhi on Sunday morning, disrupting train services temporarily, an official said. While no injuries were reported, a junior engineer has been suspended.
Two wheels of the front coach of a metro train went off the tracks near the Yamuna Bank station at 6.02 a.m., causing some panic among the passengers. This was the first train service of the day on the Yamuna Bank-Indraprastha-Dwarka line, said an official of the Delhi Metro Rail Corporation (DMRC).

[Mathew@PM4K]

SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT LIFE CYCLE

((POSTING ON A LIGHTER NOTE))

Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
Users find 137 new bugs.
Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.
Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free…

AND THE VICIOUS CYCLE KEEPS GOING ON AND ON AND ON…..

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K NEWS 017: 12 PARAMETERS FOR INDIA’S UNIQUE ID

Continuing with the PM4K NEWS Series on the Indian Unique ID Project here’s another update on India’s Unique ID Project.

Responding to a question on issues with India's Voter ID project, Ramamurthy said that many things were not done in the right way, and though 83% of the Indian population has been covered by Voters ID cards, excluding North East states.

[Mathew@PM4K]

MONKEY PROJECT MANAGER

((POSTING ON A LIGHTER NOTE))

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there,another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash, handed to the customer,saying, "That'll be $5,000."

The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled,the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said,"That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred pounds. Why did it cost so much? "The shopkeeper answered, "Ah,that monkey can program in C – very fast,tight code,no bugs,well worth the money."

The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. "Hey,that one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"

"Oh,that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming,Visual C++, even some Java All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000.The tourist gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"

The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's a project manager".

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K NEWS 016: UNIQUE ID NOT MANDATORY

((PROJECT MANAGEMENT NEWS @ PM4K))

Continuing with the PM4K NEWS Series on the Indian Unique ID Project here’s another update on India’s Unique ID Project.

NEW DELHI: The UID project will create a mass database with demographic and biometric information that can be used by banks, insurance, issuance of passport and ration. These players will be partners of the Unique ID Project.

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K QUOTES 013: SOMETHING’S WRONG!!!

((QUOTES @ PM4K))

“If everything is going exactly to plan, something somewhere is going massively wrong.”

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K NEWS 015: BRITAIN HOPES FOR A BITE OF UNIQUE ID PROJECT

((PROJECT MANAGEMENT NEWS @ PM4K))

Continuing the PM4K NEWS Series on the Indian Unique ID Project…

BANGALORE: The Unique ID card project, headed by Nandan Nilekani, is drawing interest from across the world because of the sheer scale of the project. Countries which already have similar projects, though on a much smaller scale, are looking to tap into the business opportunities emerging out of the Centre’s efforts to provide the unique ID cards to the 1.2 billion-odd people in the country.

[Mathew@PM4K]

THE FROG & THE PROJECT MANAGER

((POSTING ON A LIGHTER NOTE))

A project manager was out walking in the countryside one day when a frog called out to him. He bent down, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog called out again, saying, "If you kiss me I shall turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I'll stay with you for a week as your mistress." The project manager took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. The frog called out once more, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for as long as you wish and do absolutely anything that you want". Again the Project manager took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and put it back. Finally, the frog demanded, "What's the matter? You can turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I'll stay with you for ever and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" to which the project manager replied, "Understand, I'm a project manager. I simply don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog ....... that's cool."

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K QUOTES 012: IT’S A POLICY!!!

((QUOTES @ PM4K))

“If it happens once it’s ignorance, if it happens twice it’s neglect, if it happens three times it’s policy.”

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K NEWS 014: WHAT IS THE ‘UNIQUE ID’ PROJECT?

((PROJECT MANAGEMENT NEWS @ PM4K))

Now that the PM4K NEWS Series on the Indian Unique ID Project is catching the PM4K readers’ attention, a lot of readers have asked Mathew what is the this ‘Unique ID’ project? Here’s the answer.

NEW DELHI: A project in which every Indian citizen would have one unique identification number that will identify him/her. It would not just help the government track down individuals as is highlighted by the media, but would make life far easier for citizens as they would not have to submit so many documents each time they want to avail a new service—private or government

[Mathew@PM4K]

GM vs MICROSOFT

((POSTING ON A LIGHTER NOTE))

At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

For no reason at all, your car would crash twice a day.
Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left-turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, and you would have to reinstall the engine.
When your car died on the freeway for no reason, you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT', and then added more seats.
Apple would make a car powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five per cent of the roads.
Oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car default' warning light.
New seats would force every-one to have the same size butt.
The airbag would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.
Occasionally, for no reason, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed the radio antenna.
GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of road maps from Rand-McNally (a subsidiary of GM), even though they neither need them nor want them. Trying to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
You would press the 'start' button to shut off the engine.

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K QUOTES 011: GOOD PROJECT MANAGERS

((QUOTES @ PM4K))

“Good project managers admit mistakes: that’s why you so rarely meet a good project manager.”

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K NEWS 013: 4G SOLUTIONS WINS AP UNIQUE ID PROJECT

((PROJECT MANAGEMENT NEWS @ PM4K))

Continuing the PM4K NEWS Series on the Indian Unique ID Project…

ANDRA PRADESH: 4G Identity Solutions (4G ID) has been awarded the contract for a large-scale project comprising iris recognition identity management application development and data de-duplication processing. The state government of Andhra Pradesh has awarded the 90 million people ID management contract to 4G ID after a stringent technical evaluation process through global competitive bidding. The value of the base contract is in excess of $6 million.

[Mathew@PM4K]

TRAITS OF A 'HALO EFFECT' PROJECT MANAGER (PART II) @ ASSOCIATED CONTENT.COM

ASSOCIATED CONTENT: TRAITS OF A ‘HALO EFFECT’ PROJECT MANAGER (PART II)

[Mathew@PM4K]

TRAITS OF A 'HALO EFFECT' PROJECT MANAGER (004)

Continuing with the ‘Halo Effect PM’ series @ PM4K, here’s 5 more ways to identify Project Managers that know squat (nothing) about Project Management:

16. 'BRUSH IT UNDER THE CARPET' seems to be his/her approach to finding and eliminating root causes of problems.

17. the only corrective action accordingly to him/her is to ask the management for more money/time.

18. the only stakeholder he/she knows should be kept happy is himself/herself.

19. majority of his/her attention and time goes in honing his/her 'BLAME GAME' skill.

20. the only quality he/she expects a Project Manager to have is SUBJECT MATTER EXPERTISE.

Keep your eyes open. You'll spot one (Halo Effect Project Manager), when you see one ;)

[Mathew@PM4K]

TYPES OF PROJECT MANAGERS

((POSTING ON A LIGHTER NOTE))

If you get in my way, I'll kill you!
- ideal project manager

If you get in my way, you'll kill me!
- somewhat less than ideal project manager

If I get in my way, I'll kill you!
- somewhat misguided project manager

If I get in your way, I'll kill you!
- A tough project manager (eats glass, live cats, etc.)

If get kill in will way I you.
- dyslexic, functionally illiterate project manager

I am the way! Kill me if you can!
- messianic project manager

Get away, I'll kill us all!
- suicidal project manager

If you kill me, I'll get in your way.
- thoughtful but ineffective project manager

If I kill you, I'll get in your way.
- project manager who has trouble dealing with the obvious

If a you getta ina my way, I gonna breaka you arm.
- project manager from New York

I am quite confident that there is nothing in the way, so no one will get killed.
- project manager who is about to get in big trouble

If you kill me, so what? If you get in my way, who cares?
- weak, uninspired, lackluster project manager

If I kill me, you'll get your way.
- pragmatic project manager

Kill me, it's the only way.
- every project manager to date

[Mathew@PM4K]

PM4K NEWS 012: UNIQUE ID PLAN TO START FROM KARNATAKA

((PROJECT MANAGEMENT NEWS @ PM4K))

BANGALORE: Unique Identification Authority of India has chosen Karnataka for the pilot implementation of its ambitious Unique Identity Number (UIN) project. On Saturday, UIAI chief Nandan Nilekani held a meeting with state's chief secretary Sudhakar Rao and other officers.

[Mathew@PM4K]